Love or Infatuation........... I still Wonder

Hi Friends, writing my second blog , another experience of mine............ this time the topic will interest all, coz its on LOVE.

I had taken admission in BSc course. To tell you , the college from where I did my graduation had a college population of 70% girls and 30% boys , so no wonder the probability of a guy falling into Love was high, and in my case it was very high, not that I am a hunk or anything but you will come to know the reason behind this one soon.

I was in the 1st year, our college had a prestigious club called as Computer Science Club, it was managed by students who had taken Computers as one of their subjects. There were several posts for the club , like the General Secretary, Joint Secretary, various Heads and some selected members who worked under these heads. I was elected as a member of the Quiz committee, which had the responsibility of hosting several Quiz events all year through.

We had a very royal tradition of having annual day kind of program for the Computer dept. during which all the members of the club were felicitated for their efforts during the year by giving them beautiful momentos and the outgoing batch was treated with royal hospitality given by their juniors and the college authorities, the whole event used to be captured in video and there were eminent personalities of the city invited as chief guests , so it was a special ocassion for all the members of the club.

I had heard a lot about this event through my immediate seniors, and was very eager to experience it. Finally the most awaited day arrived, snacks and icecream and sweets were ordered on a large scale for the whole event. We bieng the juniormost members were given the responsibility to fill in the plates and pass it on to the other members of the club who would serve the seniors as well as the lecturers. I was handling the sweets section along with a good looking girl (whom i had seen all year through but hadn't talked ever, she was a member of another comittee)

While doing the work we just exchanged a few smiles, I thought I would initiate the the introduction session, but I did it only in my thoughts. I guess she read my mind well. During all this exchange of smiles , there was some speech going on by the chief guests which I guess both of us were least interested.

I was busy stealing a few glances towards her ocassionally. Amongst all this happenings she spoke out "Hi Raja", I was surprised , I replied with a broad smile "Hi". We shook hands and she introduced herself to me "I am Pallavi(using a fictional name, not the real one)". Not realising that she had already taken my name while greetng me I replied " I am Raja", she said " I know".
I asked her"How do you know me ?" , she said "I saw the quiz that you hosted " , "And you did it well, thats when I came to know about you" she continued. I thanked her and my stars too. As we were handling the sweets section , she offered me the sweet, it was Mysore Paak , I dont like the sweet at all, so I said"No Thanks Pallavi, I dont like it" . She looked disappointed by my answer, and I too was disappointed by her expression thinking that I should have accepted the sweet only to make her feel good. I also thought that I should offer her since she offered it to me , it would be behaving like a proper gentleman. So I picked up a piece of the sweet and offered it to her , she promptly took it and ate it. After some time she said" Well Raja I also dont like the sweet but since YOU gave it to me , I ate it". I wasnt expecting such an answer from this pretty lass. I thought wow Raja , seems something is already cooking between us and cooking well. I thought of testing her , so I asked her "Pallavi dont be silly if I give you anything , then would you have it? " , she replied with a mysterious smile "Yes Raja, why not?"
"Even if it is a bottle of POISON?" I asked. "Go ahead and test it if you have any doubts" she replied. I was confused , as this was my first conversation with her and in the first conversation itself she conveyed so many messages.

All of a sudden I heard applauses all around us , the function was over. After the function we cleaned the mess , and during all this we didnt speak at all , just smiled at each other . I said bye to her for the day, I was so mesmerised by her talks that I didnt even ask her the class in which she was . I went to bed with all the thoughts about her and the conversation between us , I thought the CUPID has struck me. The next day I walked into the college , this time with lots of excitement and desire to meet her and talk to her again. I was walking towards my class , looking in every possible direction hoping that I might spot her. But I was disappointed as I didnt spot her anywhere, I thought I should have asked her about her class(There were many classes in our college and she was definitely not in my class). During the lunch break when I was having lunch with my group which had 6 girls and 4 guys, she walked in with her tiffin said Hi to all the girls in my group and then turned towards me and said "Hi Raja , how are you?", I said "I am fine , feeling good(obviously hinting to the conversation we had the previous day)" , she was a really good mind reader and she replied"Why wouldnt you feel good?" and smiled mischieviously at me , my friends did smell something fishy between us .After the lunch was over , I asked my friends if they knew her , the girls said "Yes , she is in division B and we are friends for quite some time, but it looks as if both of you are friends even before we became friends". They started teasing me by her name henceforth. But they never did it during her presence.

We exchanged telephone numbers , we talked with each other almost everyday for about an hour, we talked at length on various topics , we never felt like keeping the reciever of the phone but eventually had to do it . But in college her behavior was beyond my understanding , she never talked properly with me like she used to do on the phone , the only conversation we had between us was the greetings and sometimes exchanging of notes. As she was in different division she had her own group of friends , but during the breaks or during free periods she always used to sit with our group. And as usual we used to exchange glances along with smiles, our eyes spoke I thought , and they communicated well enough.

This went on for a couple of years , during all this time I even thought of proposing her but never gathered courage even to speak it on the phone. Now we were in the final year , and I was the Joint Secretary of the Computer Club I mentioned above. I had many more responsibilites of the club on my shoulders. She was incharge of the quiz committee in the final year.

It once happened that there was a guest lecture arranged by our club. We had a tradition of gifting the guest lecturers , the shopping of the gift was done by the heads of the club along with some senior members. I was asked to go for shopping . I was given 500 bucks cash for the shopping. She accompanied me with two more friends of mine. We zeroed onto a wall clock worth Rs.350 , my friends had other plans , they asked the shopkeeper to make a bill of 450/- so that we can pocket 100 bucks in and then have ice-cream on the way back. I was an honest guy(I am still an honest guy), so I said no to my friends. At this point of time , Pallavi was quite , she wasnt commenting on the situation. Finally it was decided that if Pallavi also agrees for it then I will have to go with the majority. Pallavi was looking towards me , I and both my friends were looking towards her ,. They were trying to plead her , Pallavi raised her eyebrows as if to ask "Raja tell me what should I do?" , I just nodded my head to say no , my friends were unable to see it as they were facing Pallavi , the whole communication between us was in actions . As soon as I did that , Pallavi spoke out"I think Raja is right , we shouldnt dupe our college authorities". I had won the argument , we didnt make a fake bill. And Pallavi had won my heart.

It was our final year in the college and the annual function was nearing. It was February , I posted a Valentine card to her. I thought I had given her hints enough aut my feelings and I thought she would reciprocate with same feelings . But the next day she met me and didnt talk a word , infact she was very angry with me, I was disturbed by her behaviour. I even tried calling her , but she kept the phone after hearing my voice. I never thought that this will be her reaction , everything which was going smoothly between us collapsed like a pack of cards. She didnt talk to me for the whole week. Life seemed difficult for me during that period.

A week later I walked into the college with a heavy heart thinking that it will be another difficult day for me to pass time all day. But to my surprise , she was standing in the corridor smiling at me , and I also smiled back at her. She said "SORRY Raja", I said "WHY DID U BEHAVE LIKE THIS?" . She said"Dont ask any further , I said I am Sorry, I didnt understand you." Happy times were back again.

The very next day was our annual function , it was an emotional moment for many of us as we were not going to meet in future , most of them were going to pursue future education somewhere else. At the end of the fucntion , I was sitting in one corner thinking about those three beautiful years passing by so quickly , just then Pallavi came and gifted me a SLAM BOOK which had a message written on it which read "If you Love Some One Truly , Confess it before it is too late ". I thanked her for such a beautiful gift.

We never proposed each other even after this , time flew by and our final year papers were over , result time and we met again , this time I told her that I have secured a seat in Pune for my future studies , she was happy to hear it and said"Hope you wouldnt change when you go to Pune" I said "No I wont, I will be the same Raja which you know." further i murmured "Nor will my love change for you". She added " Raja go on with your life and study well and make your parents' dream come true , dont get infatuated like you were with me , you might find many beautiful PALLAVIS in Pune". I was taken aback by this sentence of hers. I just couldnt say anything more.

Now we are not in touch , last I heard about her was that she is in Bangalore.

I still wonder whether it was Love or Infatuation ? ........maybe you guys can comment on it.




This was my second blog , I know I was unable to present it the way I did my first one , but I will improve to perfection with my future blogs and with oyur feedbacks and comments.